Dear immune system

Dear immune system,

I would like to thank you for giving me nearly a week of torture with uncontrollable sneezing and coughing, re-occuring headaches, a throat for 10 - 15 hours of pain whenever I swallowed or drank something and making me look like a diseased panda (no offense to panda enthusiasts or pandas themselves).

Thank you for also missing three school days in which could be more entertaining than watching old episodes of Dr Phil, Ellen and Oprah or me procrastinating on where or no to write a practice essay about satire in Animal Farm. I am now feeling like I am going to die from this bored and pain that you made me go through.

I hope you fail me again in the near future,
Doom